Arrested at E3
Video courtesy of Joseph Rassool
For those of you who have been sending in letters of concern, thank you. Myself and the CURE team barely made it out alive from E3 but we are happy to say that we think we made a huge impact on the masses at the LA convention centre.
The rumours were true! A large gaming corporation based out of Fortune City had zombies caged and on display at E3 as part of a promotional grab. The booth was manned by Fortune City neanderthals security who were encouraging crowds to get on Chuck Green’s bike and scream zombie killing battle cries into the masses. Nothing short of disturbing, the team and I staked out the booth and watched as zombie after zombie was lead to the showroom floor, forced into in a 3x3 foot barred cage and tormented by the crowds.
Wrapped in chains and with visible abuse marks, the zombies stood for hours on end and were served up as an interest piece and toy to anyone who was walking by. The CURE team spent two days mingling in the crowds handing out postcards and we are pleased to announce we have thousands of new members on our side!
I managed to get up on the bike and rally the troupes as we liberated the male zombie. Let me tell you, nothing has ever come close to feeling as powerful as I did when I witnessed the zombie being let loose. Sadly, we were all immediately arrested and the zombie was re-enslaved once more.
CURE UK office achieves
official party status!
If you think the only people treated worse than the voting public is the undead, CURE understands. We’re overjoyed to announce that not only has CURE achieved Official Party Status in the UK, but in the recent General Elections, a CURE candidate (in Hitchin and Harpenden) lost sixth place by a single vote! And for anyone who thinks this sounds like a stunt or an elaborate hoax, think again. We will continue to fight. Our brothers and sisters across the pond are planning a huge event which will unite hundreds of zombies in the shadow of Parliament for this summer! Check out CURE in the UK at www.votecure.com, follow their progress on Twitter or drop them a line at email@example.com.
TERROR HAS BECOME REALITY
IN "TERROR IS REALITY"
Tyrone King is the King of Zombie Exploitation. "Terror Is Reality" (TIR) may have lost some steam and got too gimmicky even for the blood thirsty masses, but with TIR’s new "Payback" pay-per-view event, King celebrates the 4-year anniversary of the fall of Las Vegas (from his throne in Fortune City no doubt). In that time, over 200,000 zombies have been tortured and mistreated. "Payback" promises to return to TIR’s roots where the number of zombies killed and the more inhumane ways they are killed (including such perverse weapons as chainsaw bikes and dynamite helmets) is key to winning. How does King even sleep at night? On a mattress full of blood-soaked money no doubt.
ZOMBIE KILLING DEGENERATES RUMORED TO APPEAR AT E3
We’ve always had a cold spot in our heart for video game makers that depend on innocent zombies to torture and kill so they can make a buck. Can you imaging how we felt when we heard zombies were being caged and shipped to the Los Angeles Convention Center for this year’s E3 Convention? Rumor has it that a video game maker is putting zombies on display to build some hype and lifelessly shill (against their will) for some new video game, and CURE intends to be there to say something about it. We hope we can count on your support.
TAPE IT OR DIE = THE MOST EVIL IRRESPONSIBLE WEBSITE EVER
Would “Tape It Or Die” have instructed people how to create boxing knives or double-sided chainsaw paddles during the civil rights movement? So why are they allowed to do it now? It’s been years since the Willamette massacre but tapeitordie.com continues to play off people’s aversion to zombies. The site acts as a rallying point for people to design their own weapons using anything they can think of and has spawned such DIY atrocities as the Leaf Spear Blower and the Semi-Automatic Wheelchair. It’s open to anyone with duct tape and hate. Educating people about creating homemade weapons is going to cost people family members – the living and the dead kind.
Citizens for Undead Rights & Equality (CURE) is the largest Zombie rights organization in the world. CURE shines a light on the many areas Zombies face inhumane treatment, suffering and indignity; from laboratories to the internet, and in the entertainment industry. We believe that the living dead share our planet and are not ours to be used for entertainment or experimentation, regardless of their level of infection or state of decay – just as living humans are granted inalienable rights regardless of their intelligence or personal likeability. CURE works through public education, cruelty investigations, research, Zombie liberation, legislation, special events, and protest campaigns.
NOT FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT
The use or abuse of the previously living for the so-called purposes of "entertainment" constitutes the wholesale violation of undead rights. Add your name to learn more and get involved.
Want to show your support for CURE? Grab banners for your website and get protest sign ideas here.